Thursday, February 16, 2012

Frustration continues

So Kansas has out done herself again, because she has chosen to trust the sperm donor of her still gestating baby. Now my kids do not have living room furniture and my daughter does not have a bed.  She chose to trust him that he would be able to hire competent and trust worthy people to move her things out of storage.  Of course in loser fashion he hired people that "do this for a living" and they flaked out.  I’m sure that the idea of moving furniture was trumped by the idea of getting high or drunk, and this is the person that she trusts her life and heath to.  I myself drove 3 and a half hour in the snow to get to her town so that I could help move things.  I took time off of work and out of my life to help her for what????? So she can consistently say that I don’t do anything for her or my kids.  Also she feels that she doesn’t have to even give what I have to say about the kids the benefit of her thought.  In turn this tool can tell her that he invented the internet and she would walk around thinking he is a god amongst men.

Now let me make this clear I have no issues with her dating or finding someone else.  I applaud her finding someone, but is it a crime that I ask her to find a quality individual??  I would like her to find someone that is more interested in making her life better and caring about my kids at the same time, not someone that will tell her whatever she wants to hear to get her in bed and then not have the courtesy to pull out and not continue to breed more half bald over weight Mexican Charlie Browns.

What makes the situation worse is that she doesn't care to see that the things that she does effects my kids. I am the first one to say that I have not been then best dad for my kids, and yes there have been times where I have put my selfish desires before them but I am not perfect.  I walk through life and when I see the things that I am doing and notice that I am not walking a good path I think to myself, don't worry he is not done with you yet, and I use that to help guide me.  Now I am not a very spiritual person but I know that when you do things with good intentions and with others in mind it cant be all bad.  I just hope that she will soon learn that her actions have everlasting effects, not just here and now but for forever and that my kids lives are being shaped due her actions as well. 

On a more positive note me and baby girl had a great night out tonight at dinner.  It was one that was long over due.  There was great company and good food.  I have to say that I have been waiting for a night like tonight to happen for a while.  I hope that with all of the things that are going on that we can take a night like tonight and build off of it, use it as a reference of how things can be in the future if things keep going well.  I look to the future with optimism and a slight bit of reprehension. I am sure that things will be great......

As for the challenge I am doing well and hanging in there.  Yes I have my hiccups but I soon rebound quickly.  Its easier now I don't find myself wanting sweets as much, but I do miss certain things.  I wish I would have weighed myself before all of this to see if I were to lose weight in all of this.  Oh well who knows.  

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